BUSH ON REPORT OF HIS ADMINISTRATION’S FALSE STATEMENTS LEADING TO IRAQ WAR: THEY’RE LYING ABOUT THE NUMBER OF LIES
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – Earlier in the week, the Center for Public Integrity issues a report that claimed that top Bush administration officials made 935 false statements about Iraq’s alleged national security threat to the United States in the two years after 9/11. The Bush administration had been silent about this report until today, as President Bush said, “Those report folks are lyicating about the number of lies we had to tell to get me to be a popular mission accomplished war President with political capital to spendicate. This is a large administration,” he continued, “and when we got to the bottom of the barrel about us we could only count 934 untrue lies, not 935, so since they were lying about the number of our lies, you can’t believe them about anything, now can you?”

“The whole idea about these slight untruths,” said Presidential Press Secretary Dana Perino, “is that they are being blown out of proportion by the liberal media. Remember, this President did not lie about serious subjects such as sex, which are the kind of lies that can get you impeached. Bush administration lies are the kind that should have been true.”

“We can’t let the enemies of the state, such as truth get in the way of our war on terror,” said Vice President Dick Cheney from an undisclosed bunker, “In fact, if you will, thanks to our tireless patriotic efforts, the truth is in its final throes.”