McCAIN CELEBRATES FLORIDA VICTORY WITH “HUNDRED YEAR” SPEECH
By R J Shulman
BOCA RATON – Florida – In celebration of his winner-take-all victory in the Florida primary, Senator John McCain set forth his “hundred year plan.” “When I am President,” McCain told a group of followers, “I will make sure we stay in Iraq for one hundred years. Since I don’t know anything about the economy,” he continued, “it will take me a hundred years to learn something about it. Also, I propose fixing the levies in New Orleans and that should take about a hundred years. And my health care plan will assure every American that it will take at least one hundred years to pay their medical bills.”

“I congradicate McCain,” said President Bush as he watched the Florida results come in on his TV, “if I can’t be the decider for life, then it should go to a whole new generation, like John McCain who is not afraid to call a spade a liberal as we all know that liberal is a four letter word.”