BUSH BUDGET: CUTS ALL GOVERNMENT PROGRAMS EXCEPT DEFENSE AND BORDER PATROL
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON- President George W Bush submitted his eighth and final budget to Congress today. The three trillion dollar budget eliminated all governmental programs except defense and a new program to protect US borders.

“As the decider,” the President said, “I decided to budgicate all of our monies where it’s most important such as the war on terror where we surgicated to a success in the Iraq war and the other money goes to border security where we will have my good friends from Dubai to protecticate our borders after we have all them Mexicans build a huge wall of China between us and Mexico before we say ‘adios amigos’ and send them home for good.”

“The President’s bold new budget,” said Presidential Press Secretary Dana Perino, “will eliminate tax payer money from being wasted on things such as Medicare which is for people who are clearly past their utility to society and the economy and the elimination of money for children’s health care which is clearly the responsibility of the parents and not government. These cuts will allow us to preserve the most important of all American values – that rich people are entitled to keep all of their money.”