WAR ON CHRISTMAS INTENSIFIES AS YULTIDE NEARSBy R J Shulman
NEW YORK - With just one shopping day left in this Christmas season, the War on Christmas has escalated beyond initial projections. “The surge in working,” said acting General Bill O’Reilly of Fox TV, who has spearheaded a last minute increase in the fight to preserve Christmas. “This is all about the baby Jesus,” O’Reilly said, “and how the Savior can be saved with some healthy Christmas shopping.”
“The anti-Christians are in their final throes,” said Vice President Dick Cheney, “and if Americans don’t support us and say Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays, we will be hit by the enemy forces and hit hard.”
“What the American people must understand,” said President Bush, “is that the decider, which is me, has decided that in order to protecticate the American way of life, anyone saying Happy Holidays, Happy Chunakah or especially Happy Quanset Hut, will get some of that interrogation of the enhanced kind.”
“We were hoping to have the mission completed,” said a White House spokesperson, “but it looks like our troops will not be home for the Holidays, oops, I mean Christmas. Come on guys, it was an honest mistake…no, put that thing down… Don’t taze me bro! AHHHHH!”
posted by R.J. Shulman @ 1:55 PM
1 Comments:
''will get some of that interrogation of the enhanced kind.”
OMG now i have heard everything...What the Bloody Hell is wrong with people now??? This country is going to all hell and back...The only thing that bothers me about x-mas, hanakuah, and new years is that it is all to damn hype for the money and the sheep(the followers) to spend their money and moooo like a cow in the cow lines at midnight when stores open...My wife and i can't wait for the holidays to END!!!!!As far as what Bush has to say about anything about the holidays is all hogwash to me...I can't wait to see him leave office to watch the next fool on the hill bark his or HER way in...
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