WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION FOUND AT NEW GEORGE W BUSH LIBRARY

by R J Shulman

DALLAS – (PTSD News Service) – As all of the living former presidents and other dignitaries gathered at the campus of Southern Methodist University for the dedication of the Bush Library and Museum, weapons of mass destruction were discovered inside the facility.  “We were just about to let the first group of people into the Bush Oval Office replica, when I heard a yell,” said Robert A. M. Stern, the Yale architect who designed the Bush Library and Museum.  “I was doing my rounds when I saw it – electronic buttons, canisters and all kinds nasty looking things that could only have been weapons of mass destruction under Bush’s desk,” said Harold N. Grimice, a security guard, “it sure as heck filled me with shock and awe.” 

No one is certain how such dangerous weapons, including hi-tech bombs, chemical weapons and other highly classified armaments got into the Bush oval office.  It was certainly not planned,” said Mark Langdale, head of the Bush Foundation. “We can’t have visitors think that a United States president could ever be responsible for causing thousands of innocent people to die, and places destroyed because he used these kinds of weapons willy nilly, like he thought he was some kind of decider or something.”

“I know nothing of what got on my oval desk,” said Bush when he was told of the discovery of the massive weapons in the room that is a replica of his White House office. “I was off doing something of great importication at the time, I was on vacation.  I would not approve of this weaponization put on my museum.  I wanted to make sure that I am known in history as a war monger and not a war president.  I got that upside down, didn’t I?  Wouldn’t be the first time I upside downed something,” Bush quipped.

An ABC/New York Times poll indicates that Americans are split almost 50-50 on whether the weapons should be left in the Bush Library and Museum to commemorate the Iraq and Afghanistan war, or whether they should be taken out of the facility.  “The American public is so divided on this issue,” said Karen Hughes, counsel for Bush when he was in the White House, “that we will have to let the Supreme Court decide on the will of the people.”