VIRGINIA MAN MARRIES HIS GUN
by R J Shulman
BRISTOL, Virginia – (PTSD News Service) - In perhaps a first
of its kind ceremony, Cletus Friendly, a 35 year-old unemployed Blackberry salesman
married his Remington 870. Reverend
Brocious D. Willis, pastor of the First Church of the Flaming Christ of Bristol,
who performed the ceremony, said he found no law that prohibited him from
marrying Friendly to his beloved shotgun.
“Heck, if man can marry another man in some states, why not
a gun?” Willis said. “If you think of it, there’s a whole Constitutional amendment
that protect gun rights and none that mention gays, so this marriage makes
sense to me.” Virginia Attorney General
Ken Cuccinelli agreed. “There is no legal prohibition against a man marrying
his gun, although this nuptial may have forever altered the definition of a ‘shotgun
wedding.’”
Friendly said he met “Old Betsey” as he calls his new wife,
at a gun show in Galax, Virginia. She’s
a real straight shooter,” Friendly said, “and she is one rare wife because I
get to control when she shoots off her mouth.”
Friendly told friends that he had set his sights to marry her, but it
took him a while to pull the trigger. “I
wasn’t sure that I had a real shot with her,” Friendly said, “but as it turns
out, her and me, well we are both right on target.”
posted by R.J. Shulman @ 7:55 PM
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