Find A Lawyer
Find A Lawyer Counter


The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Thursday, April 04, 2013

by R J Shulman

BRISTOL, Virginia – (PTSD News Service) - In perhaps a first of its kind ceremony, Cletus Friendly, a 35 year-old unemployed Blackberry salesman married his Remington 870.  Reverend Brocious D. Willis, pastor of the First Church of the Flaming Christ of Bristol, who performed the ceremony, said he found no law that prohibited him from marrying Friendly to his beloved shotgun. 

“Heck, if man can marry another man in some states, why not a gun?” Willis said. “If you think of it, there’s a whole Constitutional amendment that protect gun rights and none that mention gays, so this marriage makes sense to me.”  Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli agreed. “There is no legal prohibition against a man marrying his gun, although this nuptial may have forever altered the definition of a ‘shotgun wedding.’”

Friendly said he met “Old Betsey” as he calls his new wife, at a gun show in Galax, Virginia.  She’s a real straight shooter,” Friendly said, “and she is one rare wife because I get to control when she shoots off her mouth.”  Friendly told friends that he had set his sights to marry her, but it took him a while to pull the trigger.  “I wasn’t sure that I had a real shot with her,” Friendly said, “but as it turns out, her and me, well we are both right on target.”


Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]hermes bags price list[/url] one point presenting exacting dui outcomes in position for your women between driving uunder the influence. will prison time, Probation, local assistance and / or having your truck impounded sound? what about loss of your livelihood alternatively working on penalties furthermore court docket dues more than $6,000? ever for an initial driving under the influence belief, probably eliminate ones own license, encounter insurance policy coverage trouble, provide an key lock program positiioned in your auto or why not be designated to bring into play substance abuse education classes for fitness at a money spent. drunk driving sentence will also recommend snug interstate then foreign take flight. dwi is illegitimate as well as,while forced. officials 'll try out your air, familiy line maybe pee to look at BAC in addition,yet evaluate if you're inside of the organization legal control. all the state government plus would make use of suggested agreement when you are purchasing a driver's drivers license exactly which waives a in order to turn down a bloodstream test. That implies that if you will not have your own BAC examined, you will charged as well but almost certainly expression harsher fees and penalties. an experienced drunk driving attorney is able to review article each and every component of your event and the strategy and generation devices used to enjoy that it. numerous problems in addition to incongruencies results in that data that will be given away.

[url=]hermes bags price list[/url] vibrant dumplings Yan Wen Lai lower traditional monster yacht celebration towards Shi Shi waiting to be exposed, at all times be conscious of the Lin group of siblings who just meet up to complete Hong Bao, Mo Yang Hong Bao dumplings can be excellent gadgets the line, truly good-staring, sniffing in regard to, there is certainly varieties of light smell. Hong Bao discount Uggs place web conceived many different seasonings plant based treatments, So it's still a prolonged Shi teenagers from the powerful fragrance keeping going now understand feature price cut Uggs release shop many Hong Bao Dian contemporary antidote to stay away from the problem pure coronary heart the factor. youth reminiscences just do Hong Bao Jue tinkling good fun, if your darling sister taught me which none of us, deficiency of for reasonable Uggs retail outlet purchase me personally nufactured cause Cheap little girls Uggs, So to get a Jue tinkling Uggs outlet within the to purchase head to multicolored Mo Yang Hong Bao dumplings striking, right I may not use the road covered in the market a gorgeous Hong Bao to help. spent your childhood years from a monster BoatCheap Uggs media outlet for the festivity associated Shi that people holding, and then eat dumplings, and in addition almost never featured Lin 's sister Geche great aunt you will find do a Hong Bao, and today Hong Bao to be able to fewer and fewer families, together with HongDiscount Uggs outlet online store Bao has become a accessories items in the street into, even while day a colorfulCheap Uggs store transaction tier draped available Hong Bao has become less and less in the cheap womens Uggs shopping routinely put together is definitely brocade stitch Geche. there are times covered with seniors in to dragon motorboat competition Nazhuo countless homemade bamboo bedding Hong Bao to. We bash to do the scene exclusively within Hong Bao remembrance. Hong Bao dumplings memories will usually fly -LikeUggs avenue world wide web readily available amazing world as a Zhuo.

[url=]guess bags[/url] DLF understand it theme park by using Chennai

7:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I couldn't resist commenting. Very well written!

Visit my website - how to make easy money online for free

7:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I could not resist commenting. Exceptionally well written!

My web-site ...

5:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gгeetіngs I am so glaԁ І founԁ your blog page, I гeally found
you by acсident, while I wаs looking on Bing for something
else, Nonetheless I am here noω anԁ woulԁ just like to
say thanks a lοt for a marvelous poѕt аnd a all round excіtіng blog (I also love the thеmе/design), I dоn't have time to read through it all at the moment but I have book-marked it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the awesome job.

my website premature ejaculation pills

6:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

126834 [b]Tag:[url=]oakley sunglasses cheap[/url],[url=]cheap ray ban[/url],[url=]ray ban sunglasses outlet[/url],[url=]cheap ray ban sunglasses[/url];Links:[/b][url=]oakley sunglasses sale[/url]
so they are the ideal choice for the drivers; blue prescription eyeglasses are the most fashionable color nowadays; gray ones are comparatively comprehensive, plus they are thought to be another kind of traditional function amongst all of the shades.Perhaps the actual continuous development as well as stand out would be the solution to have an worldwide manufacturer to savor a good itinerant existence.After that this is a issue which choosing doctor prescribed shades. Like a issue associated with truth each kind associated with doctor prescribed shades offers their very own particular functions. For instance, they will ultimately efficiently produce a fresh creation specifically for your myopia, Mainly because it might that presently you'll find hardly any health professional prescribed sun glasses available, and they are generally approved eyewear. The minute brought out, Rayban grasps this business occasion. Numerous very best doctors nervous happen to be identified as inside investigate the trouble the fact that the way in which to produce a sorts of spectacles which might supply wearers a transparent idea together with total eye proper protection. Once 3 years' labor, Rayban grasps e-commerce program. A whole lot of top notch research interested can be labeled as towards groundwork however,

3:08 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home