BEER GRABBING, CURSING FLIGHT ATTENDANT TOPS POLL FOR 2012 PRESIDENTIAL RACE

by R J Shulman

NEW YORK - (PTSD News) - Without a politial party affiliation, or even much interest in politics, politics has found interest in an obscure flight attendant. Every poll shows Steven Slater could beat any candidate by double digits just hours after his "take this job and shove it" moment went viral.

"I'd vote for this guy," said Pat McGee of Crestwood, Missouri, "we need to have a president that you'd feel comfortable stealing a few beers and telling the world to f*ck off with." "I like a guy who thinks outside the box," said Harriet Comstock of Harlan, Kentucky. "Anyone can tell off a boss, but to steal his beer and make and exit like he did from that plane is just the new thinking we need to get America back on it's feet."

Slater, who has no known political affiliation is being courted by both major parties. "He must be a Republican because he is an angry white male," said House Minority Leader John Boehner. The Democrates disagree. "He's more like the Democratic base of the working man," said James Carville, "more importantly, he can show Harry Reid how to get it done, especially when Republicans pull that filibuster crap - he'll just tell them to f*ck off." Gus Brick a Tea Party spokesman said, "We love the anger, the gender and the race of this guy. We have to make sure he is not gay, Mexican or a gay Mexican." The Green Party has also expressed interest. "We like the idea he wanted nothing more to do with polluting jets," said Daniel Weissel, a Green Party leader.

"The reason he has become an overnight sensation," said Percy Standish of the Diamond Institute, a Bethesda, Maryland think tank, "is that he embodies what so many scared and frustrated Amercans want to do most, but have lost the courage to do - tell all the rude, crass thoughless sociopaths that seem to have taken over the planet to go f*uck themselves" "He is like a real life Howard Beale, the out of control TV anchorman from the movie Network who realized we're all mad as hell and we're not going to take this anymore," said Garth Alexander, a Yale University sociology professor. "So look out multinational corporations, bankers and Wall Streeters, this guy could make the other 98% of America forget the false division of left and right you have been exploiting and give you a good left and right."

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