Find A Lawyer
Find A Lawyer Counter


The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - The Department of Education has been a target of the right ever since President Carter created it near the end of his term. What is new this year is the GOP is calling for an end of public education entirely. "Liberals have so infiltrated the public education system from K through graduate school," said Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, "that in order to protect America from turning socialist, all educational institutions must be abolished." Gringrich said, "an edcated voter is a dangerous voter."

Glenn Beck told his viewers, "the Soviet Union had state run schools and the only way to avoid becoming a living and breathing godless American Soviet Union is to get rid of the schools. Alice Cooper had one thing right," he said, "blow the school to pieces and make school out forever." Sean Hanity agreed, "Fox News is all the learning they need."

Michele Bachmann (R-Minn) said, "We send our precious children off to school when they are five and innocent and they come back snarling teenagers tattooed on body parts too vulgar to be mentioned in the bible and talking blasphemous things such as loving thy neighbor, peace in the world and that gays have a right to live," Bachmann said. "The only possible blame for that must be the teachers."

"I am glad I quit the education thing," said Sarah Palin, "and just in time or their brainwashing would have prevented me from being able to refutiate socialsts who say you have to read magazines and have knowledge, wisdom and compassion to run the country." Former President George W. Bush said, "I went to the best schools money could buyacate, and got nothing but nothing out of them. I only got to be the decider of the free world by saying the right prayers, taking the right vacations and most of all having the right daddy."

"Eliminating education has an added side benefit," said House Minority Leader John Boehner, "all that money wasted on learning and teaching can then be used to make sure we win the war on terror." Boehner noted that with no education, no one will know enough to question our decsions." Senator Jeff Sessions (R-Ala) said old school buildings could be turned into privitized prisons to alleviate the prison overcrowding problem. "In addition," Sessions said, "left over dunce caps would not have to go to waste, especially the white ones as they could be recycled by the Ku Klux Klan."


for important news scoops, visit CLG at

for RJ Shulman's blog, visit


Post a Comment

<< Home