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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

by R J Shulman

NEW YORK - (PTSD News) - A new survey indicated the percentage of the Fox News audience that is African American is only 1.38%. What is shocking is not that this is significantly lower than the black population in America, but that any African Americans were watchng that nework at all.

A close examination of the data by the Post Times Sun Dispatch has determined the main categories of black viewers who watch Fox are:

1) in shared hospital rooms where their white roommate has the TV control

2) waiting for service at a DMV which has Fox New on

3) where the cable company only carries one channel - Fox News

4) stuck at the airport when their plane was over booked and the TV is tuned to, you guessed it - FOX

5) waiting for the foxes to show up on the news

6) comforted by a display of the First Amendment free speech and free press in action, regarless of how false, misleading and downright mean the message may be

7) those wanting to keep their friends close, but their enemies closer

Fox has made a pledge to attract a wider black audience with a new program called Operation Affirmative Action which will include:

1) Presenting an Amos 'n Andy Marathon on Labor Day

2) Starting to using the word "ho" to lovingly describe black women

3) Giving out free watermellons

4) Having a special on the importanc of black music starring Charlie Pride

5) Presenting special documentaries on giants of the black civil rights movement, featuring Step 'n Fetchit, Sammy Davis Jr., Clarence Thomas, Uncle Tom and Al Jolson.

6) making it a point to explain that Fox hates illegal Mexicans more than they hate black welfare mothers

7) exlaining it's probably not the black half of Obama that is the communist Nazi community organizing death panelist

"We think with our new campaign," said Fox News President Roger Ailes, "we can get the numbers of those people watching Fox all the way up to 1.5%.

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