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Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch

The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Friday, February 12, 2010

PALIN HAS AMERICA IN THE PALM OF HER HAND
by R J Shulman

NASHVILLE - (PTSD News) - Meet the unstoppable force, Sarah Palin, once an obscure governor of a sparsely populated state, now America's rightie darling, the leading GOP candidate to unseat President Barack Obama, described by Fox News as the worst leader in the history of mankind. Unstoppable, because no matter what controvery swirls around the former beauty queen, she pops back up like the inflatable clown that cannot be knocked over.

Case in point is the latest bruhaha - Palin being caught on camera needing to use her palm as cheat sheet to remember to talk about taxes to a friendly tax hating Tea Party Convention crowd. After the former Alaska governor came under criticism for her underhanded use of crib notes, she shot back saying, "Let those America haters write some stuff on their hands in some terrorist country like South Arabia and see how long it is before their hand gets chopped off."

Many of Palin's supporters have flocked to her defense. "Sarah hit it out of the park when she read off of her hand to blast Obama for cheating with a teleprompter," said Ward Hardscrabble of Mason City, Iowa. "Those liberals lie when they say our Sarah can't ad-lib. She made off the cuff remarks as the writing was not on her shirt cuff, but on her hand," said Patty Goodstone, a Tea Party supporter from Blue Horse, Idaho.

Others have tried to palm-off Palin's "hand" writing as just so much ado about nothing. "Obama may know some fancy facts like the back of his hand, so what's the big deal that Sarah used the front of hers?" asked Randy Roache, and unemployed typewriter salesman from Taylorsville, Illinois. "It's as obvious as the hand in front of my face," said Palin supporter Annie Septic, who started a Tea Party chapter in Fort Wayne, Indiana, "that the reason Sarah wrote on her hand is that was the only way she could keep her plans for America safe from the big government terrorist atheist Muslim communist fascists that Obama has been palling around with."

"We are counting on Sarah Palin to give us a hand in turning the White House white again," said Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele, "How amazing was it that Sarah could write the entire plethora of Republican ideas on the palm of her hand when she wrote the word 'no'."

Still others are not amused by Palmgate. "What worries me more than Sarah Palin's silly slight of hand," said Representative Alan Grayson (D-Fla), "is her slight of mind."


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