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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

by R J Shulman

BOSTON - (PTSD- News) - The recent victory of Republican Scott Brown over Democrat Martha Coakley for Ted Kennedy's vacant Senate seat sent pundits of all stripes searching for the meaning of the stunning upset. "It's obvious the voters of Massachusetts wanted change," said Samuel Hawthorne of the Cambridge Foundation, "because they voted for a candidate who will vote against any change."

"Voters clearly want a change from the failed Republican policies of the last forty years," said Democratic strategist Will Flemming, "so the lesson to take from this defeat is for Democrats to be better at more closely adopting these failed Republican policies."

Republicans have opined that Coakely's defeat spells the end of the Democratic Party. Senate Minority Leader Scott McConnell said, "After these results, the Democrat Party should just fold up its big tent and go home." Upon hearing that Scott Brown was victorious," former President George W. Bush said, "I never thought I'd say this again, but you're doin' a heck of a job, Brownie."

The election of Brown to the traditionally Democratic senate seat which ended the Democrats having a 60 vote filibuster proof margin, has been a relief for some Democrats. "Now we can blame the Republicans for us Democrats not getting anything done," said Sherri Holmquist of the Democratic National Committee. "And the best part of all this is we don't need Joe Lieberman anymore so we will strip him of his committee chairmanships, strip him of his importance, and strip him naked on the senate floor and paddle his butt until it's as blue as the deep blue sea."

Fox News has been calling the Brown's surprise victory as nothing short of "a miracle that's avoided the need for a new American revolution because it stops Obama from forcing his agenda of turning the United States into a Muslim, communist, fascist, gunless, gay French, child killing, black racist, socialist health care death panel wreck of a country."

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi were unavailable for comment, as they had recently enrolled in Cajones College and were attending a class called Getting A Pair 101. President Obama told reporters that since he cannot rely on his fellow Democrats to act like the party in power, he is going to have to find his "inner angry black man." "They wanna see some mother fu**in' sh*t, they gonna see some mother fu**in' sh*t," Obama said in what Harry Reid called his dark skinned Negro dialect.

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