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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

by R J Shulman

NASHVILLE - (PTSD News) - The first annual convention of the Tea Party that's underway in Nashville is bringing together a fast growing movement of loosely linked groups that now numbers in the hundreds. "We are angry as hell and we are not going to take it anymore," said Lori Christianson, a Tea Party leader. When asked what the "it" was that she wasn't going to take anymore she said, "I'm not sure."

I was angry that I didn't know what I was angry about," said Joe Bolger of Lockport, New York, "until Rush and Glenn and Sean told me it was Obama I was mad at." "We Americans are tired of all that big government spending and those outrageous bank bailouts," said Clark Tippler, of the Memphis Tea Party, "so naturally, we are directing our anger against gays." "Answer me this," said former President George W. Bush, "so me invading Iraq when Al Qaeda was in Afghanistan doesn't look so stupid, does it now, heh-heh."

"That Karl Marx following fascist Obama made me so enraged by trying to have government socialized medicine that I had two strokes and an ulcer," said Warren Pace of Manitou Springs, Colorado, "thank God for my medicare."

Keynote speaker Sarah Palin will address the convention on Saturday night. "You betcha, I'm gonna take the anger platform to a whole new level," Palin told the Post Times Sun Dispatch, "when I blast that know-nothing Katie Couric and her friends in Acorn who stole the election from me."

"I'm here in Nashville to protest that the federal government is taking away my Constitutional freedoms," said Lester Maddox III, of Hephzibah, Georgia. "If I want to nail together two pieces of lumber to symbolize our lord, and see if it is combustible on a certain neighbor's front lawn while seeing if my granddaddy's white sheet's eye holes fit me should be my business and not of some government bureaucrat in Washington."

"We are dead set against the government interfering in our personal lives," said Randall Frisbee who traveled from Codi, Wyoming to Nashville,"when they should be making sure women are stopped from having abortions." "What I want to know is what happened to my freedom to shove my religion down non-believer's throats?," asked Rev. Billy Joe Foote of the First Church of the Flaming Savior of Meridian, Mississippi, "don't I still have the Second Amendment right to do that?"

These tea partiers are going to be a force to recon with," said Carol Pomerantz, of the Stanton Institute of Bethesda, Maryland. "If you think it's contentious in Congress right now, just wait until you see who the Tea Party will send to Washington come November."

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