IN BID FOR GOP SUPPORT, OBAMA RENAMES HEALTH CARE BILL THE JESUS-RONALD REAGAN ACT
by R J Shulman
WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - In an all out effort to lure Republican support for his health care reform legislation, President Obama will rename his bill, The Jesus Ronald Reagan Anti-Flag Burning, Pre-Birth Baby Saving, Tax Reduction, Anti-Gay, Creationism, Mexican Deportation, Welfare Ending, Acorn Splitting, Tort Reform, Yes, I Was Born in Kenya Act.

"This is still just a health care reform bill, but we think no Republican can resist voting for it with all that Conservative love in the title," said White House Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel. "If Bush could name his Constitution shredding legislation the Patriot Act, we can certainly do this."

"However, if the Republican knee-jerk-say-no-to-everything-Obama-wants overpowers their enthusiasm to vote for a bill with all their talking points in the title, we will insert a substitute bill so that they will really be saying no to any law now or in the future that will stop a mandated single payer government administered plan," said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.

Not to be outdone, the Republicans finally revealed their own health care plan. "While the big spending Democrat leaders are proposing huge deficit spending for their failed Obama Care plan for death panels and rationing of Communist doctors," said Senate Minority Whip Eric Cantor, "our fiscally responsible plan concentrates on disease prevention and shortened suffering of the sick. That is, our plan will make it clear to the American people that they should do everything not to get sick, but if they are irresponsible enough to get sick, they should die quickly."

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