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Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch

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Friday, May 22, 2009

CHENEY: CANNIBALISM HELPED SAVE LIVES
By R J Shulman
WASHSINGTON – (PTSD News) – Former Vice President Dick Cheney said today that the Bush Administration’s use of cannibalism against al Qaeda terrorists at the Guantanamo Bay detention facility, “saved thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of lives.” Cheney dismissed critics who said the practice of killing and eating detainees was barbaric and fundamentally un-American. Cheney called the eating of prisoners “legal, essential, justified, successful and the right thing to do.”

Cheney attacked President Obama’s decision to end the practice of consuming enemy combatants as “making America less safe and therefore very hard to swallow.” “In my long experience in Washington,” Cheney said, “few matters have inspired such contrived indignation and phony moralizing as the cooking and eating of a few captured terrorists.”

Cheney made his speech at the American Enterprise Institute, a conservative think tank just minutes after President Obama spoke to the American people about the evils of eating others without a fair trial.

“After 911,” Cheney said, “Congress passed laws that gave the power to cannibalize anyone who is a threat to national security. Remember,” Cheney continued, “only detainees of the highest intelligence value were eaten.”

“It would be a horrible precedent for an incoming president to criminalize the acts of the previous administration,” Cheney said, “especially when all were trying to do was to keep America safe and develop a few new recipes.”

“Besides, eating the terrorists will keep them off the street and save the taxpayers the money it would cost to house them. Not only that, eating terrorists keeps us strong and fierce,” Cheney concluded, “as everybody knows, you are what you eat.”



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