BUSH ON HURRICANE: THANK GOD WE NOW HAVE ALL REPUBLICAN GOVERNORS
By R J Shulman
SAN ANTONIO – President Bush spoke today about the storm battering the gulf states saying that the response to Hurricane Gustav was much better than the one to Hurricane Katrina because there were now all Republican Governors. “These Republican governors, unlike that Democrat last time around, have the skill and expertizication to ask for federal help in a way that I can understand, instead of the whiney way that America-hating liberals complain about stuff that makes real Americans like me tune them out. This time the governor of Louisiana made it clear they really needed help, so we gave it to them,” the President told reporters.

Vice President Dick Cheney, who tracked the storm from a bunker in Wyoming, said, “This is why Americans should vote for Republican governors, because if they don’t, we will be hit again and will be hit hard.”

President Bush, who viewed the storm from a response and communication center in San Antonio said, “I am glad to be here in the heart of the center of Texas where I can watchicate Hurricane Gestapo and the Texas Rangers at the same time as they have lots of TV screens. Now this here is one slick hurricane response operation.”

John McCain who delayed his trip to St. Paul for the Republican National Convention said, “Obama must take responsibility for being against the surge. The surge is working. The storm surge that is. It’s working because I can use this natural disaster to make it look like I am compassionate and at the same time I can avoid having to try and explain my shifting positions on the issues.”