MEDIA MOURNS THE LOSS OF THE OBAMA/HILLARY FIGHT

R J Shulman
DENVER – Who could have thought that burying the hatchet could have brought on so many tears. That is apparently what has happened when Hillary Clinton m
ade it clear she was throwing her full support behind Barak Obama. “There wasn’t a dry eye on radio row, after Hillary and Bill’s speeches” said national radio talk show host Stephanie Miller, “and it had nothing to do with being moved by their words. It was that they realized the fight was over.”

“I could have sworn that Hillary was going to lead a rebellion of her delegates at the convention,” said Chris Matthews. “I was certain Hillary would have whipped those old broads into a frenzy, or had Bill duke it out with Obama,” said Rush Limbaugh, “but instead of watching a real feminazi riot, there was so much kumbayah, I had to pop a bus load of pills just to get through the night”

We had counted on those two Dems punching it out well into the 21st Century,” said Sean Hannity of Fox, “but it looks like now we will have to talk about McCain and that is a ratings disaster.” “This is a major media catastrophe,” said Brian Williams of NBC, “without the Hillary/Barak battle of the Democrat Stars, we may have to talk about the issues.” Officials from all the networks conceded that without the fight they expect lower viewer totals. “To keep the viewers, we have to keep insisting this is a neck and neck race or else they will tune us out like we are soulless pandering maggots who will do anything for ratings and to preserved the profits of our parent corporations,” said Les Moonvess of CBS.