McCAIN TO COUNTER MASSIVE OBAMA PRESS COVERAGE BY ANNOUNCING THE END OF THE WORLD
By R J Shulman
WILKES BARRE, Pennsylvania – After months of frustration about what they see is an unfair and fawning media coverage of Barack Obama, John McCain’s campaign went on the offensive by announcing that not only will McCain be making an announcement of his Vice Presidential choice on Friday, but he will follow it by announcing Barack Obama’s VP choice. “And he will follow up those blockbuster announcements,” said McCain advisor Mark Salter, “by stating that the world is coming to an end. If that doesn’t interrupt the media from kissing Obama’s fanny and pay attention to John, I don’t know what will.”

“You didn’t see the press follow McCain around Baghdad as he was protected by the hundreds of armed troops and fully loaded helicopters saying Baghdad was as safe as Phoenix,” said Brad Hoffman, a McCain spokesman. “But when Obama talks about plans for peace and stability in the region it’s like we are witnessing a be-in from the 60s and you would have thought the press was covering the marriage between Michael Jackson and Paris Hilton. I mean, since when is it news for Americans to be loved by foreigners instead of hated and feared?”

The new McCain campaign strategy, called “Hey, Look Over Here!” is a new concerted effort to win back McCain’s original base, the press. “They used to love him,” said Rick Davis of the McCain campaign, “but now we have to practically hit them over the head to get them interested. I mean how many gaffes, fired advisors and comments about Americans being a country of whiners do we have to have to get noticed around here.”

News anchors for the major networks were contacted by the Post Times Sun Dispatch to comment on the new strategy by John McCain to get their attention. Only one responded, Brian Williams of NBC who said, John who?”