CONSERVATIVES SAY McCAIN ADVISOR’S REMARK ABOUT WHINERS HAS MORE THAN A GRAMM OF TRUTH
By R J Shulman
NEW YORK – Conservative commentators have come out in support of the controversial comments made by top McCain economic advisor Phil Gramm, that the recession was mental and that the US had become a nation of whiners. “Anyone who is negatively effected by this economy,” said Bill O’Reilly, “is effected because they want to be. Me and my friends are doing well, thank you, and no one can dispute the truth that all these naysayers are nothing more than terrorist loving America haters.”

“Gramm is right,” said Rush Limbaugh, “thanks to liberals, Americans complain about all kinds of things that aren’t real. It’s all in their minds that oil prices are high, parents have imagined their sons and daughters have died or were wounded in Iraq and people have illusions that the banks are in a conspiracy to take their homes. These ungrateful feminazis should have real problems like I have,” said Limbaugh, “such as an oxycontin shortage.”

Gramm, a former Texas Senator and currently UBS Investment Bank vice chairman, has been criticized for being out of touch with the American people. “I reject that notion that I am not a man of the people,” Gramm said from his private leer jet, “I stand to lose money too when those whiners who took out mortgages they couldn’t afford lower the stock prices on my personal holdings. Those whiners should have made sure they had the health care and pension that I have after I retired from the Senate. It’s not my fault they chose poverty.”

John McCain, stumping in economically hard hit Michigan, said “I’ll say that I vehemently disagree with Phil’s comments since he got a negative response from the whiners out here, but I need his support because I know nothing about economics, so I’ll keep him on as my economic advisor. Now how is that for straight talk? Oh, I almost forgot. Bomb Iran.”