THANKS TO PALIN NOMINATION, TEENAGE PREGNANCY IS NOW “IN”
By R J Shulman
GRAYSON, New Mexico – There once was a time in America when a girl in the senior high school class would quietly leave school to help take care of her “aunt’s” newborn baby. There once was a time in America when a parent’s greatest nightmare was that their teen daughter would get pregnant. But now, thanks to the nomination of Governor Sarah Palin, all that has changed.

“The accolades of praised heaped upon Sarah Palin and her pregnant daughter Bristol regarding her unwed pregnancy have turned conventional wisdom on it’s head,” said Brandon Wilson of the Rand Institute. “Getting pregnant when she is a teenager gives a girl the chance to show the world just how pro-life she really is,” said Tony Perkins of the Family Research Counsel. “She can expect the child, expect the moral support of fellow Christians, but of course, not expect any financial support because she’ll be on her own.”

“This is good news for girls who make poor judgment about sex,” said James Dobson of Focus on the Family. “because she can get redemption by bringing Jesus and her new baby into her life. Of course if she even thinks about an abortion, she will immediately go to hell and have to spend eternity with all the gays and Democrats.”

Not everyone believes this is a good trend. “This new acceptance of teenage pregnancy sends the wrong message to teenage boys who already have enough trouble trying to control themselves. This new praise for teen pregnancy is a green light for teenage boys to feel they can be reckless with a girl and only have to fear good consequences,” said Helen Platt of the National Organization for Women. “This whole Palin nomination is ridiculous,” said one senior Obama staffer, “you know how when a Republican does something really bad and has to resign, he says he is leaving to spend more time with his family? Well this is a case where Governor Palin should resign because she should spend more time with her family.”

The wild support of Palin’s daughter’s pregnancy has had immediate effect on the entertainment industry. Expect Hollywood to release a bundle of new movies about teenage pregnant girls, starting with Juno II due out in about nine months.