MAN ASKS FED TO BAIL OUT HIS GAMBLING DEBTS
By R J Shulman
WATERLOO, Iowa – (PTSD News) – Harvey Schmeckler made a plea today on local radio station KXEL asking the Fed to pay off the money he owes several Las Vegas casinos for his losing sports bets. “If the Fed can cough up $700 billion to bail out those Wall Street guys who gambled on sub-prime mortgages, then they should be able to find $40,000 to cover me.” Schmeckler told talk show host Bud Scott, “I bet on the New England Patriots and the Washington Nationals which shows my loyalty to this country, so a little long green is the least they can do.”

Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson said he would like to help Mr. Schmeckler but that “the federal government is not in the business of rewarding irresponsible people who make bad decisions. It’s important these people take responsibility for their reckless and foolish actions.” Paulson is scheduled to speak in front of the Congressional Banking Committee where he will urge Congress to move forward with the massive aid package which he says, “should ensure that my colleagues on Wall Street get their golden parachutes so they can leave with dignity from the venerable companies they bankrupted.”