SECOND IN COMMAND AL QAEDA LEADER KILLED AGAIN
By R J Shulman
MOGADISHU, Somalia - The American military launched an airstrike today in Somalia and reported killing Al Qaeda second-in-command Aden Hashi Ayro when his house was hit by a barrage of bombs. “This is the ninth time we have killed him since we began the war on terror,” said Capt. Jamie Graybeal, a spokesman for the U.S. Central Command. Graybeal confirmed the airstrike in the vicinity of Dusamareeb.

Ayro was killed, starting in March of 2003 when a bomb destroyed a building he was hiding in. A U.S. spokesperson at the time said Ayro’s death was proof that “the U.S is winning.” Ayro was killed again in June of 2004 when his new house was incinerated in a bombing attack. General Kurt Schlimmel said at the time, “the US is making progress on the war on terror.” Ayro was killed a month later when his car was targeted. “Ayro’s death,” said William Furrow, a Pentagon spokesman said later that day, “is proof we are making progress on the progress in the war.” Ayro was killed five more times, three in his house, one in a second building he was hiding in, and once while buying coffee at a Starbucks in Mogadishu.

“Killing him again in Somalia,” President Bush said, “provicates that my surge in Iraq is working.” “It fells so good,” said Vice President Dick Cheney, “to kill again and again.” “This operation is important,” said Presidential Press Secretary Dana Perino, “because would you rather kill him again and again over there or again and again over here?”

Both Senators Obama and Clinton said they favored a timetable to stop killing Ayro, while Senator McCain said, “If necessary, I will kill him for a hundred years.”