PARIS HILTON, BRITNEY SPEARS SUE JEREMIAH WRIGHT FOR STEALING SPOTLIGHT
By R J Shulman
HOLLYWOOD, California - Attorneys for Paris Hilton and Britney Spears have filed a lawsuit against Reverend Jeremiah Wright for “stealing their thunder.” The lawsuit, which asks for $27 million in damages, claims Wright illegitimately flooded the news media with “hogwash about hating national policies, hating racism and just plain hating, all of which has deprived plaintiffs of their God given right to continually be the lead story in a world gone mad.” “By the time we’re done with that so-called reverend,” said Aaron Schlozman, an attorney for Paris Hilton, “he’ll wish Barak Obama had never entered his church.”

“The whole media focus on Jeremiah Wright is nothing more than a well orchestrated and purposeful distraction,” said Kingston Schwartz, a media consultant with Boston based Bucholtz and Associates, “to keep the American public from paying attention to the real issues that actually effect them personally, such as what body part Britney will flash next as she battles for custody of her kids.”

Barak Obama said he was not aware of the lawsuit, but said that he vehemently opposes everything all of the parties involved in the lawsuit believe in. John McCain said he wished the lawsuit would last one-hundred years while Reverend Wright told reporters, “All I got to say about Hilton and Spears is God damn their skinny white asses.”

Nicole Ritchie says she has no plans to join the suit, but the estate of Anna Nicole Smith has indicated they will join as soon as they can determine who will represent the estate.